© Copyright 2004 - Mike - Used by permission
Storycodes: M/f; latex; bondage; corset; cons; X
"Oh Christ !", thought Jane "What the hell I am doing here", though she thought "It is not so much where I am as what I am about to do". What she was about to do was model / wear / suffer one of the most amazing fetish fashion outfits ever created. Jane knew the outfit was amazing it was her job to know.
Jane's current job was as a freelance fetish journalist, it used to be a part time job, which had started when she had started sending in reviews about fetish fashion, clubs & literature to fetish magazines and sometimes more mainstream magazines and some of the reviews were published. About six months ago she had been made redundant from her main job and had decided to try and turn the fetish journalism into a career.
Well it had started reasonably well, but soon, she had used all her sources (sometimes twice) and she had not had an article accepted in two months, and financially things were getting desperate, as her bank manager, credit card company & her landlord (who was threatening eviction) would strongly confirm. So Jane had decided to search out some new material, and after making some phone calls, she had borrowed (or was it begged) some money off her flatmate and caught the ferry over to Holland.
After what promised to be a good trip with two good interviews lined up it had all fell apart, the fetish club owner / club she had being going to interview / review had been closed down the night before, after some alleged drugs trouble with the police and the owner might or might not be in custody, nobody was really sure, but what Jane was sure about was that she could not find him, and that story was now dead. The other interview with the sales manager of a large fetish fashion company had just fallen flat, after the manager had called her bluff and called up the magazine she was supposed to be representing, and finding out she was a phoney rapidly escorted her out of his office and out the street. To say that day had not gone well so far would be an gross under statement!
Jane walked across the street to a cafe and ordered a coffee, she sat down at table to drink it and scanned the room, as she scanned her gaze kept being drawn back to the guy reading a paper in the corner, she knew him, she was sure she knew him, who was he, she rummaged through her brain for a minute and it finally came 'Dak Halson' the famous fetish artist, "Maybe it's my lucky day" she thought and then she remembered, Dak Halson was renowned for keeping his privacy and definitely not giving interviews, the only time anybody saw him was at his shows and exhibitions. Jane did not think she had a chance, but she had to try or else the trip would be a right bummer.
She stood up and walked over to his table and stood over him, until he looked up. Jane jumped right in, "Mr Halson I am one of your biggest fans, and I would thrilled if you could give me some of your time to discuss your work!" Dak Halson (for it was he) held up his hand until she stopped talking and said slowly, "You are a reporter, I don't give interviews, go away" and went back to his paper. Jane was stunned at this, but she was desperate, she had to have some sort of story to take back to England to get her landlord of her back. "Mr Halson, I am just starting as a reporter, please give me a chance!" This time Dak Halson looked up and studied her up and down. "How tall are you?" he asked. "Five feet 8 inches," Jane replied. "What are your measurements & your shoe size?" Dak continued , "38-26-38 inches and size 6." she replied. "Do you wear corsets?" he then asked. Now Jane had, but not on regular basis, but at least he was talking to her, so she answered, "Yes, quite often".
Dak leaned towards her with interest and then asked, "What is your smallest waist?"
Jane recognised that this question was important to him and although
her normal corset was twenty two inches and she had never worn less than
twenty inches (and she was very uncomfortable the whole time she wore it,
she answered, "eighteen inches". Dak looked disappointed. "Pity," he said,
"the rest of your measurements are just right, but I need someone who can
lace a lot less than that." And with those words he went back to his paper.
Jane could see herself losing whatever chance she had and so she blurted,
"Oh these days I can easily lace to eighteen inches and so I should be
able to lace smaller if we try hard".
Dak looked up and said, "Are you sure? I would be very grateful if you would, my regular model is ill and I need a model for a show tonight". Jane replied that she would be happy to help as long as Dak allowed her to write a story about him. "No problem" he said, "We shall get you dressed, do the show at the Club DeHood and then you can have all the time you like to interview me, is that OK?" he asked. Jane was amazed at her luck and she readily assented not knowing what she was letting herself in for.
So now here she stood in Daks studio wearing just her pants waiting for Dak to come back from the phone with his latest creation laid out in front of her, he had called it his 'living statue' outfit and he was not joking about the statue part, as she did not think she would be able to move a bit once she had this lot on. First there were the PVC, crutch high, ballet toed, seven inch high, stiletto heeled, lace up, "boned boots", the boots were boned from below the ankles up to the crutch with plastic boning, and laced in the back and the front, Jane noticed that the about one inch of the lower part of the boots toes and heels were made of steel with a small hole in them but thought nothing more of it. Next to the boots was a pair of PVC, boned gloves which were shoulder length, also with double lacing from the wrist to shoulder and single laced across the palm and along each finger with each finger have individual bones.
The next item which stood up on its own was a was the PVC covered, corset which was a heavy looking, stiff, rigid affair, it was very long, long enough Jane judged to run from her neck to her thighs, the neck corset was extremely high and slim. Jane could see the bones running up and down under fabric and at the waist there seemed to be no gap between them at all. But that was not saying much as the waist was minute, it looked about twelve inches. Around the breasts there was cut-out running up towards the neck otherwise the corset was solid and unbending. The last item was a PVC boned hobble dress with long sleeves and a high neck to cover the neck corset but an opening around the breasts with. The dress was zipped at the back from the neck to the bottom of its skirt which looked like it would reach to below her knees. Al the items were made out of shining white PVC and glistened under the studio lights.
Again Jane thought what am I doing here, but she knew people were relying on her to get this story, most of all the people who were relying on her earning some money so that she could pay them back. Dak returned, "OK the show is definitely on for tonight, so lets get started, this outfit is designed to be tightened in stages over a period, until finally every part of your body is held immobile so that you become a living art statute". Prior to her undressing, she and Dak had made up her face with a thick white shiny makeup, with only her eyelids, eyebrows & lips in shiny black, her hair had been pinned to tight and covered with a white shiny bathing cap also of PVC.
"Right," he said, "we will start with the boots, sit down over here and I will put them on".
Each article of clothing / armour had had the laces loosened off as far as possible, with the slack in the long laces, Dak easily pulled both boots up to her crutch, he then loosely tightened the back laces and tied them off, then starting at the bottom he started tightening the front lace with some severity, Jane said nothing but winced as her toes were compressed into the extremely pointed toes of the boots and her feet were forced into the en-pointe position. Dak continued lacing tightly, up past her ankles, calves and onto her knees. As the lacing reached her knees Jane could feel the boning straightening her legs and as she tried to bend her knees against the pressure she found that there was little, if any movement allowed by the boning of the boots, As Dak reached her thighs Jane could feel the fat on her thighs being compressed and pushed upwards. Eventually he reached the top and tied the front laces off, Jane's legs had never been pressed so tight, her tightest jeans did not come anywhere near this amount of compression.
Dak asked her to stand, but he had to help as she could no longer bend her knees, and balancing on the ballet toes was a severe trial. "Now I will tighten the back laces" he said. Jane could hardly believe her ears surely he could not hope to get the boots any tighter, her legs were rigid as it was. But Dak started at the bottom of the laces near her heels & started pulling more slack out of the back laces. "Two sets of laces allow you to get the boots tighter," Dak commented, "as with only one set of laces the friction is much greater". Jane easily believed him as she felt the tension increasing all the way up the back of her legs, and her knees were held even more rigid, if that were possible. At last Dak was finished and Jane could see a ridge of fat had been pushed up around the top of the boots at her thighs. Dak reached for some scissors and cut off the yards of excess lace hanging down from the boots and across the floor.
"OK" said Dak, "See if you can walk around a bit and get used to them". Jane tried to walk and almost fell she could not bend her knees or ankles one iota the only way she walk was to swing her legs from the hips which made walking extremely difficult on the ballet toes and stiletto heels and she had to hang on to a chair for balance, Dak went over to a bench and picked up a camera. "Jane do you mind if I take a few photo's of you at this stage, you can cover your breasts if you like" he asked, Jane nodded assent and struck a pose (as best she could in the boots) and covered her breasts with crossed arms. Dak shot off a roll of film photographing the boots from all sides with numerous close ups of her thighs, calves, ankles and stiletto clad feet from back and front.
"Now the gloves" he said, picking up the rigid tubes from the table. With lacing wide open he pulled the gloves up Jane's arms to her shoulders. He then started lacing up each individual finger from the tip to the base, "Lacing must always be carried out from the extremities towards the body or problems will occur" said Dak offhandedly. Jane did not know anything about that but she was amazed as one by one her fingers became rigid, as if lollipop sticks were attached to each one. Dak only laced the palms slightly tight or as he said they would start to curl over. But from the wrist to the shoulder on the first arm he continued with the underside lacing with a vengeance and again Jane could feel the upper arm fat being forced upwards. At the top Dak tied off the underside lacing and returned to her wrist to start the top lacing at this point Jane's arm was rigid from the shoulder to tips of her fingers, and she was not sure if she was / could move her fingers as she had lost all feeling in that arm. When Dak had finished both arms they hung from straight down with each laced finger and thumb splayed out straight from her hands.
"This is wonderful" said Dak, "Now can you move your arms around to see how they look". Jane tried and found it really strange as all the movement had to come from her shoulder, she found that her biceps and triceps had no effect what so ever, also her arm and hands stayed at the same angle as she could not rotate them at her elbows or wrist, it seemed that her arms were not really connected to her body anymore which was compounded by the fact that both her arms and her legs were becoming totally numb and she could not feel them at all. Dak put another film in the camera, and began to shoot close-ups of the arms and then wider shots from Jane's rear. When he came round to the front Jane found that she could not cover her breasts completely as her arms would not bend up far enough and settled for crossing them in front of her. Dak smiled and bent down taking upward shots so that her modesty would be protected.
Dak put the camera down and then turned to the corset, he released the heavy busk all the way up the front of the corset to the neck corset. As he was doing this Jane noticed that there was also lacing across the shoulders and enquired why. Dak answered, "When you are fully laced down to fourteen inches your upper body will rise out the corset the shoulder lacing allows me to 'compress' it down again to achieve total compression !". Jane could only nod at this her thoughts reeling from the former part of the sentence "FOURTEEN INCHES" she thought "I will never manage that", but after a moment she thought "I really have no option, either I go through with and faint as I undoubtedly will, or pull out now and get no interview".
Dak lifted the corset "with some effort" thought Jane and when he was behind asked her to put her behind and down, Jane complied and holding the corset busks wide, he slid the corset armholes up to Jane arms to her shoulders where she shrugged it on like a coat. "Christ" Jane thought "this thing is much heavier than it looks". She found herself staggering a little under the unexpected weight of the corset and tried to move her legs as normal but because of the ballet toes, stiletto heels and her rigid legs, she overcorrected and found herself staggering further and further forward moving just like some fifties film robot. Dak jumped forward and steadied her. When she was still again Dak moved round to the front and started to clip the corset busk together as he moved towards her breast she noticed that the top of the neck corset was moving in as well and that its top was level with her nose, seeing a way out she said "Dak, I don't thinks it is my size the neck corset will never fit it will be up to my eyes", Dak stood back and checked the level quickly and returned to the busk, "No its OK" he said with the neck corset on your chin should be tilted up to about forty five degrees". Jane wondered at this, and finding no reasonable argument, tried to relax as front of the corset came together. She then noticed that the inside of corset was smooth and cool not like her own corsets which were lined with cotton and always felt warm and slightly rough.
"Dak" she queried "This corset feels like it is lined with rubber", "It is not quite rubber" he answered " It is a new plastic material along the lines of Teflon which should help the corset to slide around your body and make it easier to lace down to fourteen inches". There were those two words again, Jane shuddered and fell silent once more.
Living Art - Chapter Two
As he had finished tightening the busk, Jane watched her breasts get pushed higher and higher, also they were being pushed in from the sides by little flaps sown into the sides of the corset which came together as the busk tightened, as she looked down all she could see was the sides of the corset and in between an acre of white flesh that was her now prominent breasts.
Dak finished the lower busk and took her hand and lead her in a slow staggering stiff walk towards the bench where they stopped for no reason that Jane could see, what she could not see because of her now ultra prominent breasts was a steel ring set into the floor between her boots, and if she had bothered looking up she would have seen a similar ring hanging from a rope above her head. Dak turned to the bench and picked up a foot long bar with a wide leather strap at each end and bent down to her feet, she could not see or feel because of her numb legs & the boning in the boots around her ankles the leather straps being tightly bucked around her ankles and a centre hanging from the bar being attached to the ring set in the floor. Dak stood up and grabbed something else from the bench which looked like a mass of leather straps, he gently pulled Jane's arms back again and passed her arms through another set of arm holes, he then came round to the front and passed a wide strap across the top her breasts and bucked it tight. At each shoulder he bucked the shoulder straps tighter and the reaching above he raised a bar upwards and joined a short chain in the centre of it to the steel ring hanging from the rope above her.
Jane was mystified, she had never heard of lacing bars, and certainly she had never laced tight enough to warrant them. Dak quickly went to the wall where the ceiling rope was tied off after it had travelled over a pulley system. He untied rope and turned to Jane saying "Right a little tension before the initial lacing", Dak pulled on the rope and the bar began to rise until it took up the tension on the straps running down to her shoulder straps and she felt herself begin to rise, "That's enough" said Dak, and rushed back to the corset, he reached up to her neck and started to fasten the neck corset busk and Jane had to push her head further and further back to stop the high edges of the collar pushing into her neck and cheeks. When Dak had finished she found herself staring at the ceiling and she could only look forward by peering down her nose. Dak went around to her back and started to tighten up the high neck corset laces a little, until it started to got a little tight and then stopped. "That will do for now", Dak said.
Dak then grabbed the back laces and quickly pulling the slack through tighten them up until Jane could feel the corset tightening around her body, he then tied them off and repeated the operation with both sets of side lacing. He then walked around to her front and stood back to examine the effect. Jane was beginning to get quite worried as the restriction increased and thought about saying something but could not seem to bring herself to do it. Dak grabbed the camera, put in a new film and shot off another roll all around the corset from neck to hips.
Dak finished his appraisal pronouncing himself happy with the initial fit and returned to the rope which he then started to pull as hard as he could Jane felt herself rise sharply and then felt the ankle restraints pulling back, Dak continued pulling and Jane saw the straps down to her shoulders go sharply taut. As pressure increased she could feel her body being pulled up and up until the corset began to feel looser around her waist, but at the same the neck corset was being pushed up under her chin forcing her head even further back until she could not see forward at all. When the neck corsets pressure and her body extension was getting to painful Jane began to whimper, at the noise Dak stopped pulling and tied off the rope. Jane heard him walk back to her side and he asked, "You OK up there", Jane answered as best she could with a "Yeth" as the angle of her neck and the neck corset pressing against her chin made speech difficult.
Dak then grabbed a tape measure and put measured her waist, "twenty four inches" he commented "Only ten to go", Jane grimaced at the thought. Dak then repeated the lacing cycle starting at the back and slowly pulling through the slack, tying off and moving to the sides. Jane felt the pressure on her waist increasing again and by the time Dak was onto the second side lace, she was beginning to gasp for air, which was made doubly difficult with the angle of her neck, she felt herself trying to extend her neck out the neck corset but got little success, she could feel, but not see her breasts starting to heave as she struggled for breathe. Dak finished the third lace and picked up the tape measure again, encircling her waist he said "Right we are down to nineteen inches, only about four to go". Jane was in two minds, one the tightness of the corset & the heaving of her breasts was damned uncomfortable, but two the need to get the interview from Dak gave her enough resolve to carry on.
Dak now standing back assessing Jane, smiled as his artistic creation began to take form, Dak went of for a cup of coffee, leaving Jane hanging, to allow the corset settled on her body and her breathing to settle as she adjusted to the tightness. After ten minutes he had finished his coffee and he returned to find Jane's breathing more settled , but her now prominent breasts were still heaving. Jane had not heard him return and he spoke suddenly, "Are you ready to continue?" Jane was not so sure as the pain at her waist and on her ribs was getting very noticeable, but she grunted an affirmative and Dak stepped up to the back lacing and repeated the lacing cycle. With each tug at the laces Jane's waistline decreased and her breathing became faster and faster, as he finished the third lace and remeasured her at sixteen inches, she seemed to reach a hiatus and then with a low grunt fell into faint. Dak was used to this, and so he checked her breathing and found it evident but fast, he turned to the bench and picked a bottle of smelling salts, opened it and wafted it under her nose, slowly bringing Jane back to consciousness. As she awoke he stood on a stool and looked her in the eyes.
"How do you feel?" he enquired, Jane dreamily replied "Tight" and grimaced slightly as the pain from corset made itself felt again, Dak continued, "Look do you think we can finish the lacing". Jane slowly nodded her agreement concentrating more on getting what little air she could into her lungs. Dak jumped down from the stool and quickly and with some severity closed all the three laces on the corset, Jane again fainted in the process. Dak again checked her waistline and was satisfied. He then, slowly revived Jane again, with the smelling salts. Jane began to moan slightly as returning to consciousness the crushing pain around her waistline reasserted itself. While this was going Dak jumped down picked up some pliers and reached for the set of three buckles on either side of the corset between the side lacing and the busk. These were designed to be set before the corset was put on, to smooth the stomach and improve the hip spring, but Dak thought this seems a good time to tighten them some more. Grasping the top one with the pliers he pulled back with all his might so that it slipped two holes further in and Jane grunted some more, he managed to pull the right middle one 2 holes as well and with some effort managed 3 holes on the lower buckle. Jane's breathing became coarse and ragged. Dak moved to the left hand set of buckles and repeated the exercise but only managing two notches all the way down.
Jane could not believe the increase in pressure in her pelvic region it now felt like all the blood in her body was concentrated there. Dak ignored her increased reaction and turning back to the rope slowly lowered Jane to the ground, Jane grunted heavily as her weight was put back on her numb legs and her extended body was forced back in to the corset by its own weight. Dak rushed to support as she sagged and nearly fell. Dak held Jane with one hand and used the other to release the shoulder harness. When Jane was steady on her own feet he knelt down, still supporting her with one hand and released the ankle straps. He then half led, half carried, and turned her, so that she could lean against the bench. Jane's senses were reeling she did not whether to cry from the crushing tightness of the corset or sigh if she could from release of the extension of the lacing bar. Her legs and arms were now completely numb and she could not feel them, her only view was still of the ceiling and she did not know if she could bear the total compression that Dak had created. Dak could see Jane's distress and again being prepared turned to his bench and injected a mild sedative / painkiller into the top of Jane's arm. "That should make you feel better" said Dak kindly.
Dak stood back and surveyed his nearly finished creation. Jane's legs were smooth, straight and rigid from ankle to hip, her arms hung away from her sides with her fingers splayed, her waist was minute compared to her hips and her bosom, her breasts stood out even further after the corset tightening being two massive globes standing out prominent from her chest, and her head was forced high and back by the neck corset. Jane was nearly superb. Dak looked at his watch, they were OK for time. As Jane slowly relaxed her breathing with effects of the sedative, he reached for the heavy white makeup and covered Jane's breasts and upper chest to match her face, Jane felt but could not see what he was doing and tried to pick up her arms, but she had no feeling and they flopped back, Dak turned and picked up the dress and walked over to Jane, he opened the long zip fastening at the back and the two zip fastening on the sleeves, picking up Jane's feet one by one he passed the dress over her heels, and worked it up her legs, pulling Jane away from the bench he pulled it up her body then holding forward he fed Jane's rigid arms into the sleeves one by one and then pushed the collar up to the neck corset. . Turning Jane round and leaning her against the bench once more he began to pull up the long zip and stopped when he got to the middle of her back, the zip had tightened up the dress so that her knees, thighs and hips were forced together, it was totally smooth over her hips and waist, and in front lifted her breasts even higher, the dress stopping so that it only just covered her nipples. Dak then reached under each arm and pulled the long zips down to Jane's wrist so that her arms were one long smooth unbroken straight line.
He then looked at his watch again and decided that they were ready for the final tightening, he first stood on a stool and grabbed both ends of the shoulder lacing and pulled sharply upwards, Jane gulped as she felt her upper body forced down again, but it was not too bad because as the corset pulled down onto her shoulders she felt her chest and breasts forced out through open front of the corset, but she could feel the corset getting tighter around her shoulders, when he was satisfied with the shoulder lacing. Dak then reached for the neck corset, he started out bottom of the lacing and pulled the neck corset tighter, Jane's breathing immediately became louder as she gasped for breath, gauging her breathing so that Jane could adjust to the tightness, he slowly tightened the neck corset so that Jane's neck became slimmer, longer and her head was forced even further backwards. As he finished and tied off, the doorbell chimed. Turning Jane round, he said "Now we are nearly ready, that will be our transport to the club, where you will pose in the show and then we can do your interview, OK", Jane could not break off from her rapid chest heaving breathing for more than a second to utter "UGH ",. before recommencing trying to drag in more air into her tortured lungs. Dak finished off by zipping the final part of the dress zip up so that it just covered the neck corset.
Dak then went to the door, and Jane with her only view that of ceiling heard him return, talking to another man, "Get the trolley and we will get her loaded". Jane wondered why they needed a trolley, she heard the trolley being wheeled over and then Dak said, "Jane we are now going to mount you on your presentation trolley ready for the show". Jane felt herself being lifted, but could not feel their hands on her through the tight, solid corset. She was then lowered down with nothing to lean on. After a few seconds both men stood back and she expected to fall as she had no feeling at all in her legs, waist or arms, but she only swayed slightly, as the rigid boning, in the boots and corset kept her upright and her feet did not seem to move anymore. "We have bolted the toes and heels of your boots to the display trolley so that you will not fall, during the journey or the show." 'So that was what the holes in the shoes were for,' thought Jane.
Dak moved the trolley on front of an angled mirror mounted towards the ceiling, in which Jane was able to survey her form, Jane heard Dak and his assistant leave the room, Jane stood alone on the trolley fighting for air, but viewing her reflection in wonderment. "Is that really me?" she thought, in the reflection she could see a shining white mannequin with towering heels, and thin smooth ankles disappearing into an impossibly tight skirt, which sharply but smoothly angled up to wide prominent hips, and then nipped into a minute waspish fragile looking waist, above the waist it again angle sharply out towards the shoulders the view being dominated by two massive looking white globes that seemed about to jump out of the straining dress. "Are they really mine" she thought. Jane's gaze then passed over her milk white upper chest which was still heaving trying to pull air into her tortured lungs. She saw her neck which because of it's angle when viewed from the front looked impossibly long and thin, just like one of those brass necked Borneo girls, which you saw in National Geographic and then on finally to the white face which she hardly recognise as herself. "I look pretty good" she thought "Well if not good, certainly different", but as she waited she then considered her position and thought, "Oh Christ" how long can I suffer this. "We have got to get to this club, do a show and get back here before I can be let out this armour, I can't feel my legs, arms and waist, by that time I will have lost all feeling."
Dak and his friend arrived back, and Dak said, "Jane are you OK?" Jane thought of saying something but thought better of it and responded with a strangled "Uh". They wheeled the trolley out of the studio and Jane could see the back of large van, she felt herself rock as they went up a small slope, and then hearing an electric whine felt herself rising upwards, the movement was making Jane light-headed as she had no point of reference as all she could see was the night sky. The whine stopped and they pulled her into the van. Dak said, "Right, I will stay with you, it is only a 10 minute ride to the club." The van started and drove for a while and after a while she heard a ssssssing noise, and the Dak said, "I'm a just giving you a polish for your grand entrance." Jane could not feel anything until Dak worked his way up to her breast and her shoulders, polishing the PVC to a shining lustre.
Eventually the van slowed and stopped and she was wheeled out into the fresh air again and the van tail lift went down. "We are here" said Dak and Jane felt and saw (only by the progression of the ceiling) herself being wheeled into a building where she began to hear the build-up of the murmur which signifies a large group of people ahead, then she entered a large well lit room and the applause began all around her she could hear people clapping and comments like, "Another masterpiece", "Well done Dak" and "Is she real or a statue", they toured the room to tumultuous applause and when they stopped. Dak said "OK now you can rest" and he unzipped the dress a little and folded the collar down, loosened the neck lacing and then unclipped the upper busk, so that Jane could bring her head forward and relieve the strain on her neck, she also found breathing a little easier, as she looked down the first thing she noticed was the breasts she had seen in the mirror were not a trick of the reflection, they were really now that big, standing out like two white footballs in front of her chest. But she could not admire her minute waist as it was now totally hidden from view.
Dak returned with a glass of wine and held it up to her lips. "Right now the interview, " he said he then pulled out a tape recorder started it and placed it on the shelf of her now massive breasts. After the interview which Jane thought was great material and thinking quickly of her bank balance, she works the conversation round to more interviews and exclusives, Dak with a glint in his eyes starts to deal, saying that she can only have each interview if she wears another of his creations. Jane cocky now and flushed with success said, "well I got through this one just about OK", so its a deal. Dak smiled and beginning to refasten the busk on her neck corset said "Well my next creation may not be so easy to get into as this one !".
Jane gulped and thought "Oh Christ !, how can he make it any harder".